Overcoming the Fear of Success
Have you ever wondered if the notion of a fear of success exists? The answer is a resounding yes! But what does it mean to have a fear of success? Continue reading, and you'll soon discover what it meant in my journey.
I often refer to myself as a sober procrastinator who is currently learning to apologize and forgive myself for not trusting God’s divine strategies and promises for my life. When I think back over my life, what God gave me was massive in comparison to how I saw myself because I only believed what I saw with the carnal eye and the narratives created in my head from perceived rejection, bitterness, disappointments, emotional pain, and unmet expectations and needs. So much of my blog was once the trajectory of my life until I learned to truly rest and sit with the things God gave me, receiving God’s strategies and promises wholeheartedly without fear or reservation.
I often doubted God’s promises because I had many insecurities and fears. I frequently questioned God’s voice because I didn’t understand how God would trust me with such assignments. Although I have worked through most of my insecurities and fears, it is a process that I continue to work through. But I would be mistaken not to share transparently how the fear of success once jeered my wellness, relationships, accomplishments, thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. This fear kept me stuck for many years and trapped inside my thoughts and in unhealthy situations, making poor and self-sabotaging decisions.
The fear of success manifests in my life in several ways, some of which you may identify yourself. The fear of success contributed to my delayed obedience; I subconsciously gave more energy to the possibility of things not going as planned or not having the entire plan before taking step one. I pondered what I would have to sacrifice to gain God's promises; I was trapped in people pleasing, wondering how others would perceive and receive me and how much rejection I would face by stepping out on the faith and continuing to be an outlier in a world where I wanted to feel validated and affirmed. These thoughts exacerbated my unhealthy attachment issues and unresolved grief while exposing me to my traumas, all of which caused me to sidestep, suppress, flee from, or even mask my talents, skills, and competencies. I found myself playing it safe, scared, or shrinking around others so they would not feel intimidated by my presence, skills, talents, capabilities, or capacity to operate excellently.
Then, there’s the uncertainty that fueled my procrastination and reluctance to move toward success, at least at a certain momentum, excellence, and capacity in which I knew I could operate because my success wasn’t for me but for the Kingdom and God’s glory. Eventually, my fear brought awareness that I was postponing obeying God’s strategy because I lacked faith and trusted my plan more, often doing nothing more than pondering my actions with no movement toward my goals. My unwillingness to show up as God created me brought mediocrity to every space I entered while sheltering others from their insecurities, which they probably needed to see to start their wellness work.
Hindsight is always 20/20, so I know that the old me was rooted in fear of success, betrayal, abandonment, disappointment, and trauma. To move forward and expose myself to the very things I feared, I had to be willing to give God a resounding YES to doing his Kingdom work and allow him to get glory. I picked a scripture and applied it to my journey; it was Romans 8:18, which says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us.” I would revisit this verse in the morning and night for almost a year. Even when I felt fear and discomfort, I reminded myself of God's use of suffering, success, and situation to show his glory. I would remind myself not to question what I heard God say and to always go back for instructions when needed. Overcoming my fear of success was also about stepping into God’s promises and away from my small plans for my life. Once I shifted my mindset and behavior, the transformation happened; what I once feared, I now embrace, understanding it more because it is only a snapshot of God's abundance that brings glory to him and the Kingdom.
With Love,
Qwanquita T. Wright
CEO, Focusing on Self
