Unmasking Our Triggers and Traumas

The National Institute of Mental Health (NAMI) reports that more than half of U.S. adults will experience at least one traumatic event in their lives. Still, most do meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder but live with ongoing trauma and stress-related symptoms. Those with trauma and stress-related symptoms and stressors may experience terrifying thoughts, memories, sleep challenges, emotional numbness, fear, compromised relationships, intimacy and attachment issues, and poor functioning in various areas. The commonality and difficulties of associated trauma and stress-related responses can exacerbate avoidance and suppression, causing us to focus on survival versus thriving. Because of our trauma, many of us spend our days reliving specific experiences, ruminating on the past hurt, disappointment, betrayal, and abandonment triggered by life circumstances, which often teaches us to defend ourselves by masking our traumas, hurt, and emotional pain. To move forward, we must unmask our triggers and traumas in a safe, compassionate, and empathetic environment, whether with God, a therapist, or, more importantly, a combination of God and therapy.

So, what does it mean to be triggered? NAMI defines a trigger as a stressor, an action, situation, interaction, place, person, or thing that can lead to adverse emotional and behavioral reactions. Triggers cause varying responses in our lives; they may cause us to isolate, detach, reattach to unhealthy situations, become fearful of new experiences, avoid emotions, manipulate others to invoke a specific response, or even abandon our goals and dreams. Triggers can become overwhelming and often feel heavy when we continue to mask them, especially when we believe we are protecting ourselves; in retrospect, we are essentially justifying our unhealthy emotional and behavioral responses through avoidance and suppression.

Once we recognize our triggers, we can identify their connection to our past traumatizing experiences. For some, our traumas may have stemmed from childhood experiences, unhealthy emotional attachments throughout our lifetime, racial and gender inequality and exclusion, bad relationships, separation or divorce, death, car accidents, or even combat. Regardless of the traumas, masking them causes us to internalize experiences in our lives, which could contribute to our reactions such as anger, sadness, perfectionism, insecurity, bitterness, overprotectiveness, wandering, cycling, or a combination of all these responses. These responses may have an undesirable impact on our ability to thrive, have healthy relationships, maintain a high quality of life, or even engage professionally.

Our responses are driven by our triggers and interconnected to our traumas; it’s unlikely that we are triggered without the basis of it having resulted from a traumatizing experience. Because of the guilt and shame that we may carry surrounding our traumatizing experiences, we tend to mask our experiences to attempt to protect ourselves. Masking does not provide protection but further exacerbates our triggers, making it difficult to move forward and thrive. Therefore, we remain stuck, fearing the move toward God’s promises for our lives and staying attached to unhealthy things, behaviors, relationships, experiences, or thoughts. Our traumas do not determine our future unless we resist the need to unmask and understand them, so we no longer just survive but thrive, no longer living in a constant state of masking and avoidance. We cannot truly heal what we are unwilling to reveal.

My revelation of my triggers and traumas came after continued confusion as to why specific patterns were continuing to show up in my life or why I tended to always respond with a defensive attitude, always thinking others were out to get me and believing no one could care for me in the same way I cared for myself. This steadily led me back to unhealthy connections with people, places, and things, as they provided a level of comfort for me and allowed me to continue to avoid and suppress. Because hindsight is 20/20, I now realize the consequences of always masking my triggers and traumas; it intensified my triggers and disrupted my spiritual, mental, emotional, financial, and physical well-being. But to understand and move through the disruption, I needed to acknowledge that my triggers and traumas were impacting my life.

So, how do your triggers show up in your life and relationships? Can you pinpoint when you put on the mask or decided to remove it? Unmasking becomes necessary for post-traumatic growth and moving forward; the growth cannot start until the journey to unmasking triggers and traumas starts. Every journey has a beginning; you must decide to begin the unmasking process.

With Love,

Qwanquita T. Wright

CEO, Focusing on Self