Using Frustration to Fuel Your Fire
Pastor Charles Roberson taught an astounding and mind-shifting sermon at Kingdom Life Christian Fellowship in Savannah, GA a few Sundays ago, “From Frustration to Favor” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKHq1BpbpBs) has helped me see that inspite of frustrating times, favor prevails and ignites a new fire!
It can be challenging to understand how frustration could lead to favor when we are in the thick of things, mainly because our minds are only fixed on what is and not what God has the power to do with these moments. Frustration causes us to live in a constant state of crisis; then we begin to fix our mouths to speak things such as, when it rains, it pours; there’s always something; bad things always happen to me; and on and on with the constant and negative jargon. My Granny used to call this negativity “the poe mouth,” in the therapy word, we refer to this as cognitive distortions and work to reframe our patients’ thoughts about the past. Though it may seem small, this shift in mindset is a powerful tool in our journey of personal growth and spiritual development. There’s success in this; as a Kingdom Therapist and Life and Wellness Coach, I have found that tremendous success comes in our ability to learn to move through a crisis by shifting our mindset, recognizing that suffering is inevitable, acknowledging that we are not okay, accepting that we are human and life in a carnal world where we will face challenges, barriers, and unprecedented circumstances, and then using frustration to fuel the fire inside of us.
Using frustration to fuel our fire may seem impossible in our current state, but how do we use frustration as fuel? We must first understand what God has called us to; I realize God has called me to be a servant leader and therapist who shows up willing to have difficult conversations about taboo, uncomfortable, hidden things, uncover and resolve family secrets, and help others process the traumas that continue to create a barrier between themselves, God, and healthy relationships. I haven’t always embraced this, as it stung to have to do the very things God had instructed me to help others do, so yes, I have uncovered and continue to move through my traumas; I have committed to sitting with a therapist sharing all the most vulnerable parts of my life that I had hidden and tucked away because I realized these things were so heavy to carry along this journey called life.
We must be eager to let go of the image of the person we thought we would become or the person someone told us we should be. These images plague us and hold us back, putting out our fire and causing us to think we are less than, inadequate, or unworthy, creating more frustration and causing us to focus on what we haven’t done or achieved; it makes us ungrateful, resentful, and even bitter. There are so many experiences and relationships I have had to release so that I could embrace God’s calling for my life, walking unapologetically in it, without fear or reservation, but with God’s power and fuel for the present and the future.
We must also face the past and commit to healthily resolving things; we can’t continue to suppress it, tucking things away and pretending that we are unbothered. It is challenging to heal what we are unwilling to reveal, which means resolving the past will require us to find a safe space where we think and feel we can trust others with the most vulnerable parts of our lives. This commitment, though daunting, is a crucial step toward our healing and growth. It will also require us to accept that people from our past may never apologize or recognize how they contributed to our challenges. Still, your wellness journey is for God to get the glory and for you to heal well, using frustration to fuel this new fire in you. I had to be open with others about the weight I was carrying; I acknowledged it was heavy and too much for me to take on alone; it was freeing to uncover and resolve the inner child in me that had been broken and wounded. Today, I stand in who I am, confident that even during the challenges and frustrating moments, God has called me to these moments to fuel my spirit, mind, and body for the present and future. Despite the immense frustration experienced in your mind and body, I hope you will seek God on a deeper level and allow the disappointment to fuel the fire deep within.
With Love,
Qwanquita T. Wright
CEO, Focusing on Self
